Waiting Room English

by E.J. Gold

Price: $7.95

Lyrics Included

Song lyrics pdf included in download

A Two-Hour Induction Experience

Step into the timeless hum of the Bardo with Waiting Room English — a hypnotic, two-hour mantra cycle designed to carry you gently through the veils.

Featuring forty subtly different arrangements of the same deep-rolling invocation, each take reveals a new shade of mood, rhythm, and feeling. Backed by the swampy, spectral house band (think Dr. John channeling through the Akashic Records), this isn’t repetition — it’s ritual variation.

The effect?
You never get bored.
You never quite return.
And before you know it, you’re not waiting anymore — you’re traveling.

Perfect for trancework, focus, or just drifting in that strange liminal space where everything sounds familiar… but nothing repeats.

Put it on. Let it sink in. And let the room do the rest.

The carpet is the exact color of forgotten memories — somewhere between gray and faded pea soup. The lighting buzzes with soft existential dread, flickering slightly in sync with your unresolved regrets. A ceiling fan turns slowly above, even though there’s no air. There’s no window. No door. No clock.

The receptionist — we call her Mrs. Klempt — has been here longer than time. She hums along with the station, occasionally tapping cryptic notes into a keyboard that isn’t plugged in. She might be a Bodhisattva, or a DMV temp from the 1970s. You’ll never know.

Then there’s Juno — your caseworker.

Smokes like it still matters. Voice like sandpaper and funeral bells. Her hair is shellacked into a shape not found in nature, and her clipboard seems to weigh more than you did in life. Don’t ask how she knows your file inside out — she’ll remind you that she’s been through this a thousand times before, and none of them turned out better than yours.

She doesn’t judge.
She just assigns.
Next incarnation, next lesson, next bite at the wheel.
Cross her, and you’ll end up back as a ticket dispenser.
Cooperate, and she might let you skip the next life as a municipal lamp post.

Juno seldom looks up — but she always sees you.

The other souls in the room aren’t what you’d call fresh.
Some still wear the expressions they died with — confused, annoyed, mid-sneeze. One guy in the corner keeps trying to finish his last text message, even though his phone has no screen and no signal. A woman near the ficus plant has been muttering the same breakup speech for what feels like decades, and yet somehow she’s still rehearsing it.

A man in a bathrobe flips through a catalog of reincarnation options, occasionally pointing to one and laughing. Next to him, a mime floats three inches above his chair, stuck in an invisible box made of solid guilt.

They don’t talk much.
Mostly, they glance.
Every now and then, someone gets called.
A light hums, a door appears… and then vanishes again.

Once in a while, someone blunders in. Sometimes it’s a group or a soccer team.

You can hear the canned music coming over the tiny loudspeakers in the ceiling.

A few souls pretend to read the magazines.
A few just sit there, waiting for their name — or any name — to be called.
You start to wonder if you’ve met some of them before.
You probably have.

Release Notes:

Songs published by Union Label Music
Produced by EJ Gold (BMI)
Cover design by EJ Gold

Waiting Room English

by E.J. Gold

Lyrics Included

A Two-Hour Induction Experience

Release Notes:

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